daily rants

omg where's the freaking ring?
let it be in his car please.

2009-04-15T11:19:00.005+08:00

brain in a turmoil.
just cant figure out what to do.
it keeps bringing back to 1 yr ago.
thats not how i want it to be.
i want to be loved.
i want to be missed.
i want to be needed so bad.
i want whole full attention given to
ONLY ME and noone else.
i'm tired of doing all this yet
dont receive the same.
you can never force love so dont
just give the best honest answer.

it was never right.
everything is just so wrong
foolishly blinded.
can never stop thinking abt the past situations.
she should not have gone,
you would not have met me.
that i guess would be the perfect story.
from the very beginning until now.
until 1 yr has passed,it never changed.
full of pretence,lies...
and on the other hand she keeps giving another chance.
keep trying to put an effort to believing.
a person can get real exhausted.
to an extent that she feels out of control.
like nothing is beyond her control anymore.
like evrything is just gonna take place over and over again.
like nobody learns from their mistake.
she feels like totally giving up.
bcoz no matter how much she try,
she feels that it's just gonna happen again.

weird how evrything seemed to be 'happy lovely' one moment
and suddenly truth strikes.

i seriusly dont deserve this.do i?
ouhh shit she's like a kryptonite!
watever.life's fair in a way or another.

can i escape?
what i really need right now
is a warmth comforting hug
filled with love.true love.

2009-04-14T12:38:00.005+08:00

i was thinking..
is it even possible to have a meetup?
will it be weird/awkward/conversation-less?
but let's just leave it as it is for now.
ouhh and i dreamt of them.funny moments.those times.

i'm working so lil this wk.
let's put it manager dont fancy me i guess.hehs.

love too much
and you were blinded.
even if it seems like it's fine already
it's NOT.

"what's there to worry for something that has already happen"

2009-04-12T09:59:00.002+08:00

played lan gaming the other day with syg.i was a noob.
it was interesting.hehs.
the game was something like having to kill all the zombies.
but my neck hurts having to stare onto the computer for like 2 hrs.

i trust him but i dont.wth?!
now he might think i'm changing into some
freak who suddenly dont trust him anymore,
and trying to invade his privacy.
NO i'm not trying to of coz.

okgo.
"night rider" next to read.
syg has been offering very good service
to being my personal library.
very efficient.hehes.love you(:

2009-04-09T11:26:00.002+08:00

finished reading 'the visitor'
"a thumping good read.impossible to put down",
yeahh mann!!totally agree.hehs.
i was excited to find out who the murderer was.
i knew knew it,it has gotta be an insider.(:

Music Playlist at MixPod.com

2009-04-08T12:55:00.002+08:00

23 April-interview at depot rd
(must remind myself!)

yest picnic was great!
it rained for a while so thats fine.
played in the sea.frisbee for a while.eat.talk.
ouhh and yess they came over my place in the morning
to prepare mee goreng for picnic.
wanted to watch confession of a shopaholic but there
wasnt an appropriate timing.
so we went home early right after dinner(:

teaching doesnt start today.boohoo.
surya taking over for today first.
so yeap we'll wait till nxt wk.
i'm excited.hehs first-timer luhh.=p

bye!

2009-04-07T07:33:00.004+08:00

came across a fren's blog.
an issue abt 'friends'.
interesting personal thought of hers.

yess friends come and go.
it's a normal phase in ur life.
u meet new people and they become ur new frens.
then u change ur path, and old friends replace by new ones.
and only lucky fews have friends who are still close,past and the present.
i am happy to have that one close friend.
from secondary till now(:
and we always tell each other that hopefully
we'll still keep in touch for many more years.
(must be my maid of honour okayy.LOL)
how we started out as friend is one weird scenario.
we were never in the same school yet still so close...
anyway i need a friend,someone to hear my stuffs.
well what can i say last time till now there has always been
this communication gap between me and my parents.
unlike some fortunate daughters,i don't share personal things
with the parents.not that i DON'T want to but just no courage to open up
unless maybe one day my mum just randomly have personal chats with me.
i look forward to that day.

going picnic with seri and fizah!
hehs hopefully a good day with nice weather.
to chill and have fun(:

sunset,talks,stupid faces.
i am just so comfortable with you.
i love you boy."i love you.5 times more"=D

2009-04-06T12:13:00.003+08:00

i am shortlisted for a job at mindef!!
i wanna tell him,i wanna tell him but then i think he's busy at work.
coz he said this wk is a busy wk for him.
so i shall keep the news till later at night when he call me(:
it's ok at least managed to call mum and tell her abt it.
so i have to attend an interview and also some psychometric test.
whatever it is suppose to be.quite nervous actually.hehs.

yet to call the person to set a time slot.
will call them up tmr morning.

hope for the best(:(:

2009-04-03T09:52:00.003+08:00

omg omg!!
i tot i was interested with the 6mth job offer.
mum said it might be taxing.pay-wise quite low as compared.
and the idea of having to start next wk is a bit omg.
i donno if i'm ready for another 6mth of office routine.
9-6 evryday.the morning crowd on the train.goshh.
anyway i was also keen with surya's offer.
at least somehow i can get a glimpse of what teaching is all abt.

if i let this one opportunity go,
will there be others coming?pleasee.
have faith okayy.(:

so i'm saying NO.=(
no regrets baybehh.

2009-04-02T11:42:00.015+08:00

wed outing.
minds cafe/the foodplace at tong seng/marrina barrage
it was a FUN-filled day(:

coincidently the drivers wear red.hehs.

2009-04-02T11:15:00.002+08:00

the revamp clementi is a stop to food paradise.(:
9 plates of sushi,durian pancake,cheesyy fries-FANTABULOUS!

i received partial good news yest.
stock exchange called me and ask if i'm still interested
with the 6 mths job attachment in assisting XBRL filing.
well of coz i said yes.at this desperate moment any job
that comes by is a must grab!hehes.
another partial news was from surya,
she asked me to standby on replacing her
to teach conversational malay at jurong sec.
every wed for 5 wks.how interesting.
boyfie also received his set of good news.
200 extra bucks in his pocket.
gold for his ippt.hehs congrats syg!

finished reading the book 'kiss the girls'
by james patterson.
it was superb.took abt 1 and a half day to complete it.
was totally stuck to it.
shall wait for other recommended books from syg.

i'm starving yet i dont feel like cooking.

2009-03-21T21:09:00.003+08:00

i was being terribly cranky the past few days.
ouhh it's horrible.shiits!
i just need the attention,his attention,more than usual.
but i get none(ok i do get some but just not enough).so i go all cranky.
come on it's just that critical moment and i so badly need him to spend time with me.that's all.
but well,i survived the day.
but yeah as normal he gets all the thrash(thru several annoying phone calls)and i apologize.
sayang,i guess all my saying abt trying to work on the crankiness
and putting a stop to it yadayada is just useless.
i need more effort.=(

movie was good.'dragonball'
not a fan of those kinda shows actually.it just happens to fit the timing.
eyy but surprisingly i enjoyed the actions.
window shopping was gr8.feel like adding more to the shoes collection.
and omg! 12hrs spend over at Jrg Pt.
(7hrs-work+5hrs-leisure)
would have gone to EXPO food carnival.
but scrapped.it was too far down the other side.

u bring a point to evrything,
and u make it all seem so right.(and yess i agree it is)
hence i cant find any reason to argue further.
i hate that feeling.
i feel like i'm always wrong and there's just no sense in anything i say.
BUT well its good.coz it snaps me and allow me to think rationally.
i love you.

2009-03-20T11:25:00.002+08:00

results out!!
i'm so happy with my final semester grade.
finally achieve that 3.5.
but then again it's only attachment.
so obviously easy to achieve.
so can i say i've graduated?hehs.
happy?yess.lost?yess

i'll continue to find jobs.

2009-03-19T13:06:00.004+08:00

say goodbye to the wonderful phone.
hehs i shall not use the word 'function-less'.
else sayang will nag and i say "tak tau bersyukur nye org"=p
well this phone has been my saviour for the past few months.
if not i'll be feel so distanced from my loved ones.
nt able to call nor sms.
thank you LOVE!(:
so now let's WELCOME the LG viewty phone.
it's an old model but who cares.
it's value for money.

satisfy my ice cream craves over at cold rocks.
bubblegum ice cream with marshmallow&gummie bears.
*wide smile*
again thanx to that SWEETHEART for being sucha sweetie!
he's tired after a day of work yet still brings me out for ice cream(:

you had me at hello.
love u baby.always(:

take care lovelies.

2009-03-18T10:37:00.002+08:00

i suck when it comes to controlling my emotions when it's PMS-day.
i'll go shopping with mum later.
well at least some therapy.
i still need desserts.

i browse several job ads.
edited a lil tinnyy weeny bit of my resume.
which still looks quite pathetic.

the reaction received from my parents regarding the degree courses
at UOL and UOB is not positive.
the price is too high.i agree.
i'll just TRY find a job.see what happens next.

2009-03-17T16:55:00.000+08:00

let bygones be bygones.
i hate nightmares.****
well if history were to even repeat itself, i gotta learn to live with it.
so why even think of it?anyway it's just a freaking nightmare..

period.

2009-03-09T09:57:00.002+08:00

happy 1yr anniversary (040308)
i love the gift sayang.really do.thanx.
hopped on the spore flyer on sat.it was a spectacular view.
but well we missed the sunset.
and it was so adorable of him fixing the jigsaw puzzle.hehs.=p
skipping all the details and moving on...

what does it really mean when u say u've stop all contacts with someone?
it means there'll not be any communication going on
between u and that someone right?
so u won't even bother looking for him or her in facebook, friendster or watsoever right?
hmmms.well i donno.

it's not right breaking a friendship between 2 party.
yes i know that's for sure.
but there's definitely that feeling of insecurity.
jealousy,insecurity?it comes together right?
how do u deal with such feeling?how do u get rid of it bcoz it's definitely bad for oneself.
hahas.alright forget it.u tend to get tired of similar shitts happening.
just hope history don't repeat itself.
ok let's give it a break.just like the song "dont worry be happy"(:

2009-03-02T09:08:00.002+08:00

heh heh.i'm a happy kid!!
past few days had been GOOD,SPLENDID and all other positive words(:

satisfy my durian craving yest with the family.
ouhh mann i could still taste the sweetness of it.
okay anyway,
meeting the man 3 days straight is heaven.*cloud 9*
and my virgin experience to the cinemax 3D movie,my Bloody Valentine.
its pure gruesome,seriusly!

did i tell you delifrance called up and ask if i wanna work.
"YES!" for an answer.so tue,thur,fri meet me at deli guys!=D

and i've been attached to love novels i borrowed.
sappy2 one.hehs.

ouhh and bestfren's coming home today!!
in exactly 1hr45mins.
ryte i'm off.
bathe,eat(maybe not),and AIRPORT!!

bye lovelies!

2009-02-25T13:15:00.005+08:00

just came back fetching lil bro frm sch.
he fell during school,gt his neck cut.
a lil wound across his neck.ouch! i could feel the pain.
nw soundly asleep after consuming medicine.

going out again later.
settle syg's car loan.
thank god i saw an advertisement on the bus.
there's an OCBC branch over at JE int else i would have gone to JP.
i'm such a bummer.hehs.

if u are free,
ask me out on a date?
coz i've been rotting away at home.

terima kasih tuhan
kau telah sempurnakan
telah engkau ciptakan
dia untuk diriku...

2009-02-24T16:32:00.002+08:00

how abt double degree in business admin & psychology??
tempting yaw!but but there's a bit of hesitation.
PLUS it's not easy anyway.
Degree in accounting & finance??
BUT i want something different.
whatever it is SIM shall be my next stop.
hahas.no where else i'd rather be.LOL
not that i had a choice anyway.

2009-02-22T22:25:00.003+08:00

it feels so good having him ard once again!!
fetched him from airport yest.
stupid baggage delay and i was left waiting for hours
before i finally see him(: (:
i was seriusly falling asleep already when i drove to airport.
but it was worthwhile.

watched 'New in town' yest.
give it a 4/5.it's a romantic comedy.
gave him his prezzie and so glad he love it.
i was worried sick that he might not really like the watch.
ouhh and yess yess encik adip saya sungguh cool-ouhh smlm.
saya amat amat terpegun.(is that the right word?hahas)
sayang sangat sangat saya punya camera phone rosak+tk bwk camera.

today was spent watching syg's soccer match early in the morning,
evry-sunday-religious-class, dropped by his house, slack over at coffee bean.
ahh, i flipped thru childhood photos of his family.so adorable.
u noe evrytime i met his sister,it's always the same qn
(okayy nt like i've met her manyy times but yar anyway)
"bler nak kahwin ni?anak akak nak sedare"
hahas!it's very pressurising.
not that i totally hate that subject but just awkward.
alot of factors....
1)my parents dont even noe about me and him being an item.
2)i think i'm still young.(thou currently i realise i dont mind getting married early)
BUT i think it's just nt yet the time.
3)i haven't found a stable job.(& currently still thinking of pursuing studies)
4)if i get married nw,i'll be the first among all my cuzzins to get married?!
(nt like it's much of a factor but don't want)

so yup the most impt factor is factor no1.
only until that is stable,i'll have some considerations(:
i noe my frens will prolly be laughing at me.
"hah!!kau tk kisah kahwin cpt.haha dulu ngada2 kata tk nk ah kahwin
siang.tk cukop enjoy.best age 25-28"
LOL.but then again it's so weird, suddenly i had some thoughts on marriage.
boyfren noe abt it.and he laughed at me okayy.so memalukan alright.

okayy enuff said abt marriage.
that's an episode of my life story in the future.nt now.
the current episode now would be;
'Where should i go next?Which course should i pursue in?'
damn!i'm lost.i really donno.

sayang i love you so much
and la la la la la life is wonderful
with you around....

2009-02-19T21:50:00.003+08:00

went johor with granny and her sibling.
it was not too bad.
just tagging along kinda thing.hehs.
but it's been donkey years since i last crossover.
i dont even know that the immigration place have moved.hahas!
went pandan city and tesco.first time.OMG i'm pathetic right?

i shall do a lil bit of cookies tmr.
a lil modification etc.
*finger crossed* it'll taste just fine:)

i was kinda mad at him yest.
well he called,but he was in a rush to put down
bcoz he's going out with his frens.
i donno why i was pissed?.prolly bcoz i kinda waited for his call.
or maybe period.hmms.

hopefully bestfren is doing just fine over at cambodia.

2009-02-19T21:45:00.003+08:00